Yes, the full moon was censored...how rude! the
only night it can shine the earth gets in its way--covering up its sheer
nakedtivity. I'm sorry Moon, for the Earth is embarressed by your nakedtivity.
[the term "nakedtivity" has it origins with a fem named Mary--no not that
Mary, the mother of Him--but a Mary of the Monroes dated somewhere in the
early 21st century.] Anyway, this full moon we chose to ride singles--like
all full moons here in Boulder. But this full moon was in January and it
had not snowed in over a month! Tis a strange winter here in Boulder...only
snows once a month nowadays!! So we rode...only a handful of the Intergalactic
space pilots showed up: the Maveric Intergalactic pilot himself, along
with Tighty whitey of the Danimals Dan Vardimas, Jon Alegranti, Frank,
Elias, and myself. We met at the Intergalactic Mountain Bike Association's
(also known as "IMBA") headquarters on the hill in Boulder where there
twas Guinness being drunk and a disco ball spinning to the funktified tunes
of the 70's. Yes, twas a good start. The moon was slated to disappear at
about 8:30 and it was 7:30...we had to go. So the parade lap around the
hill was safe enough..or so we thought...as soon as we got onto the bike
path and passed Cheif Niwot who said "you shall have a good ride, so be
it!" Frank gets a rear flat. But in the dark, we couldn't see it, but Frank's
rear wheel dismembered itself! Yes, the rim's sidewall just pulled right
off! Strangest thing I've ever seen! Six man enter...five man leave. one
down five to go. another one bites the dust. We leave Frank, a casualty
of the Intergalactic war against the Single Speeds. This war against simplicity
and frugalism has long been waged...especially in America: the land of
plenty. Why get more gears? "yeah, lets go for 8, no...let's do 9 speeds,
wait...now I want 10! yes, I want more gears! yes, it helps me go faster!
I must need more gears! I can't wait until that 14 speed comes out! COOL!"
....Whatever, dude. So anyway, we ride on. The Pilot himself leading the
way and all of us in V-formation ready for any of those gearheads to attack....
"FLANK ATTACK! GO FOR HIS DERAILLEUR! TIGHTEN HIS BARRELL ADJUSTER!...HE
WON'T BE ABLE TO RIDE IF WE SCREW WITH THAT DERAILLEUR!" Up we go the Tunnel
trail to another trail that The Pilot probably named something sexual...like
always. We must ride faster! the moon's disappearing! the pace picks up
and we stop at the top of the Betasso loop. We all break out our respective
beverages: The Pilot has a flask of Schnapps (left over from the hut trip
we did a couple of weeks ago) and a Negra Modelo, I have a Sierra Nevada
Porter. We sit for awhile and watch the moon disappear behind the veil
of the earth. Visualizing the sun directly behind us, and the moon directly
in front of us...whoa. After spacing out for a bit, we realize it is best
to continue the mission again--being mountain lion prey and all up here.
The Pilot takes the lead and I'm covering him... Whoa...icy spots on corners,
some snow to boot...just looks like trail to us until we're on top of it.
The adrenaline created by the dark and a beer makes us love this trail
more when we ride it in the dark. (DISCLAIMER: I am NOT saying beer makes
rides more fun...we were NOT buzzed...just more relaxed after a long day
at work--or grad school.) So anyway, it's totally dark--it went from a
full moon night to a no moon night within a half hour period. Pretty cool,
eh? Heading down the trail and then up, and then down again to the tunnel
trail--The Pilot takes a shot in the leg. IF I had been more on it, I could've
saved The Pilot from this amazing bail. The Pilot went over the bars on
a root section SO SLOWLY that I could've reached over and grabbed his rear
wheel and saved my co-pilot from a pretty harsh charlie-horse. Oh well,
didn't happen, obladibladah, life goes on. Heading home on the road we
make our legs imitate a two-stroke engine spin away the RPM's. Yes, and
spin away the cares, stress, whatever. The intergalactic fleet lives another
day to spread the word of Singleatude, increasing the earth's energy and
entropy of the galaxy by spinning and cranking so singly. Won't you join
us? PLUG: http://www.carsrcoffins.com/ check it out!